WHO AM I? To
this day is still one of the hardest questions I have ever been asked. How do we
truly define ourselves? Are we defined by the things we own, by the friends we
make, the food we eat, the clothes we wear, the places we go, the religion we
have, our race, or by our culture? I thought long and hard about who I really
am but then another question came into my mind, am I defined by who I think I
am or am I defined by what others think I am? To answer this I began asking
people what they thought of me both good and bad, I know that this may be
unreliable or inaccurate especially from friends, but the best judgement comes
from ones we love because usually they tell us the honest to goodness truth and
some of it hurt a little while others felt good to hear. The run down is as
follows all the good, the bad, and the ugly.
How people
see me:
Positives:
Athlete, Funny, Friendly, Happy go
lucky, Loyal (to a fault), Laid back, Curious, Generous, Outgoing, Confident, Independent,
Determined, and Hardworking
Negatives:
Noisy, Too laid back, obnoxious, does
not take school too seriously, stubborn, Over confident, does not listen to
advice most of the time, not very focused (except sports), does not follow
routines well, does what he wants when he wants, does not always follow what I
say (My dad said this and he wasn’t too happy) and looks scary because he is so
big.
Physical:
Fat, Big, Looks good when clean, (No
idea what that means), Wears the same, stuff, does not really follow fashion,
laid back outfits, hates formal wear, White, Asian, and scary looking.
After hearing and reading these descriptions I
do agree with most if not all of them except the looks good when clean part I
AM ALWAYS CLEAN and I ALWAYS LOOK GOOD (here is my confidence and over
confidence in one line). Anyways, after I started reflecting on this I realized
that what they saw was true and that was who I am for them, but that is not the
whole of me that is the public or peoples perception of me. It may not matter
whether I agree or disagree with they think or say because for them that is who
I am, but that is not the whole me.
I believe what Mr. Stephen Fry said to
be true, when we are alone all our masks and defences fall off, our
insecurities peel off, our weaknesses are allowed to be acknowledged and what
hurts us is given space to breathe. On the flipside what truly makes us happy
is allowed to flourish without fear of judgement or ridicule.
After all of this the question still
remains who am I? There are thing about me that are given I am a son, a
brother, I was born and baptized into the Roman Catholic Church, I am White and
Asian and I am Male. Those are the things that were pre determined when I was
born however; I came to realize that the rest of who I am is what I chose to
be. I am a person who is built by the choices I made and the things that I have
experienced. I am an Athlete, a champion to be exact I have won both in HS
Basketball and In college Judo and BJJ, I am a student of Politics (though my
parents wanted otherwise), I am a fan of anime and cartoons (DVD’s), I love
playing video games, I am a fan of comics, I love reading books, I love my
family, I am a LaSallian, I don’t watch cable TV, I am a movie fan, I love my
girlfriend, I am a loyal friend, I am laid back sometimes even lazy about most
things, I am super chill to the extent that annoys most people, and so many
more. I am a hodge podge of traits I am a combination of a jock, geek, and
couch potato who is just a big kid and wants to be happy and is contented with
what I have. I am blessed for all that I have and I know it. People may like
me, hate me, or not care and it does not bother me because Bernard M. Baruch
said it best.
“We have to dare to be ourselves, however
frightening or strange that self may prove to be.” ― May Sarton
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